Friday, May 15, 2009

2.30pm ABC day 3 going strong

Need I say more?
My first two (official) days went to plan
Today is day 3 and so far I haven't touched a calorie! I'm wondering if I should have my 300 over the rest of the day, or maybe try and hold out then call it a fasting day! I don't want to push myself because I know I'll just cave and fail, but maybe I could trade this for a fast day later on...

Who am I kidding? I'm already starting to think about food. It just seems like it would be easier to eat nothing than to try to stick to 300.

I'd also desperately like to go visit my mum, I love her so much and we get along so well. But going to my parents' house means food, lots of it. Their kitchen is packed with junk. And there would be dinner. And even though they don't really push me to eat, I've grown to associate their house with eating and it's a huge binge trigger for me. Which invariably means locking myself in the shower and vomiting afterward then spending the rest of the time trying not to pass out. It's so sad, because I'd love to see them but I know it would spell disaster. It's more important that I stick to the program, particularly in these first few days while I'm getting used to restricting properly again.

I'm pretty pathetic
I'm 23 and I miss my mummy :(
Just so desperate for support

1 comment:

  1. When I wasn't living with my dad I missed him so much it was sad. I wound up calling him at three in the morning in tears one time. Granted, it had been a super rough night (I worked as security at a hospital and saw my first person die) but yeah, all I wanted was to be around him then, but I lived across the country.

    I'm 22 and I have lived with him again since I was 20 (mostly for financial reasons, but yeah). I'm such a daddy's girl, though.

    It's best to avoid it for now. I'm trying to avoid going out with friends as much as possible for the time being.

    I was at a plateau, at least for a few days, because the scale at gym was still on 166 to 165, but since I didn't go for two days, I don't know when the plateau ended. I'm very OCD about some shit, like tracking plateau days, spotting patterns, and all of that. I can't stand when I've been doing something for a while and something happens and I can't spot the variable factor, or there's an unknown variable. So I don't know if as I lose, the length of my plateau's is getting longer, or if my scale is just hatesauce.
    I'm so weird XD