Sunday, June 21, 2009

Badest Binge

... of my life to this point.

Awful, couldn't stop. I am in a bad BAD place... wasn't I only just recently back in a good place? Maybe not. I can't even remember. But I feel as though I've been binging and purging on a daily basis for a long long time now. I wish I could snap out of it. Ah shit. Poo bum shit.

I come up with a new plan practically every day, but here's another one to invest all my hope in. The fruit and veg and icecream plan. I'll only eat raw fruit and veg. But keep a big stock of icecream. Then, if I end up binging, which I invariably will, I can only binge on icecream. Its about the easiest and least damaging thing to puke. I'm sick of throwing up the disgusting conglomerate of crap I ingest through desperate binges of cereal and cheese and nuts and god-fucking-knows-what-else. So, this plan has no hope of fixing me, but will hopefully get on track for a little harm minimisation. Probably a good idea.

Now I think I might knock myself out with a cocktail and a few temazepam.

Savory, get your ass here and march me to my spa session!


  1. oh new plans, new plans, where would we be without them? directionless. or at least more directionless.

    i bet that guy DID think you were the prettiest girl. sounds about right.

    i hope your plan works out for you... Maybe the icecream wont even be a tempting binge food if you've pre-allowed it in advance? here's hoping!

  2. At least in a few months I'll be somewhat closer (England is closer to Australia than America is, yes? lol)...

    Also, icecream is like the only thing I can purge, so if I can do it, it's gotta be like your super purge food. So it sounds like a plan.

    Lastly, your house sounds like the perfect house. More wonderful than I could imagine!

    *All my love*

  3. wow~ about what the guy said to you, that's got to be one of the best thing you can get from a random guy. [= and i don't think he would have said it without meaning it!~ Hi, pretty girl [=

    ice cream? yes, definitely easy and fast to purge. but girl, remember that you are trying to control youself here. Let's not say that you will try not to binge, instead try not to purge. Don't eat up to a point that you would want to purge. Just have that in mind. I don't know if it works but it's just something that i do.
    Hope all works well for you [=
    Best wishes~

  4. hello sweetheart. i've been reading your blog and you sound like a compete maniac like me :] but i read that you are going to see a therapist soon? that is lovely and i hope you get to a point of "balance" soon.

    i had my biggest binge and purge today in a long time too. Actually it happened twice and i hadn't purged in over 2 weeks. One thing I had was an orange. probably the worst thing to get back up. ever. i think it was the citric acid combined with the stomach acid. ice cream isn't that bad, it still tastes sweet to me. i had ice cream today too.

  5. eugh.
    I binged today.
    big time.
    not nice, x.