Saturday, April 4, 2009

purging (is it really so bad?)


So I went out to dinner tonight.

And I ate quite a lot. But I didn't eat more than I intended to. And I had a great day yesterday and I worked out and ate very little today in preparation. And I told myself that this could be a higher calorie day to keep my metabolism up. And I gave myself permission to eat. And once I'd eaten I felt fine.

Then as soon as I stepped in my front door I thought, "why have this inside me when I could so easily get rid of it?" so I purged, quickly and painlessly, and now it's gone.

And I don't feel guilty, or like I lost control. When I'm alone I rarely ever binge. I only eat too much when I'm with other people and I can't get out of it. So purging is a way of restoring control that other people have taken from me, not that I have forfeited myself.

So is it really so bad?

And really, really, best tip ever for purging - eat lots of raw veg or leafy greens like spinach before you go out. Not only does it fill you up for minimal cals so you're likely to eat less, but if you purge you know when you've got up all the bad stuff. When you see green you know it's time to stop, and you don't have to get to that nasty dehydrating stomach acid stage. I know this is a bit obvious but it worked a treat for me tonight (even though I never actually intended to do it)

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4 comments:

  1. AnonymousApril 5, 2009 at 1:14 AM

    I also take this attitude to purging quite a lot. I could not, but it would be so easy for it not to be there. The reason i still look upon it negatively is that it quickly spirals from something that i do on occasion to something i do all the time, sometimes eating more than i want just because i'm throwing up anyway. I think its a slippery slope which is unsustainable in the long run (plus its really bad for your teeth. mine are like chalk, i can basically scratch them away)

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  2. Savory SweetApril 6, 2009 at 2:26 AM

    I don't purge (except once or twice) but when I have, your tip would have been a good one as I found that frustrating. Interesting.

    Be well :)

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  3. SophiaRuinsApril 6, 2009 at 7:07 AM

    ive purged before, but i reserve it only for the really neccessary times.
    never felt guilty or out of control either.
    i rather felt more in control.

    hell, if you can put it in, why cant you take it out right?

    although ive heard bulimia is a very dark place to be and isnt exactly a place one should be fucking around in.
    then again, neither in anorexia.

    im at a loss haha

    hope you're doing well

    XOXO Sophia Ruins <3

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  4. OpheliaApril 6, 2009 at 11:08 AM

    I'm the same when it comes to purging.
    Most of the time I actually really enjoy it - rather twisted I know - but it is a way of regaining complete control. When I feel full, and I know I've got a load of shit in me, I know I can take it out again and feel released from it.
    I do it with alcohol as well on nights out. If I'm really drunk and feel disgusting, I get it all out, and feel fresh again! If you've got a good gag reflex, might as well use it to your advantage.
    Purging only causes health problems when you do it really regularly. I used to be a full on bulimic - purging like 3 times a day, and I know that was dangerous.

    p.s.
    "Being the overdressed thin person inspires awe, being the overdressed fat person evokes ridicule." - DEFINATELY. I have a closet full of stunning dresses, which are only gonna be stunning on a tiny frame. (and yeah I'm always the overdressed one for everything)

    Love your about me section by the way - "That mysterious drifting girl, all limbs and tangled hair, meandering in fields of flowers."
    Absolutely. Beautiful.

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