Tuesday, January 5, 2010

What's Cooking?


I am one of those typical eating disordered types who seeks out relationships with food that don't necessarily involve eating it. I adore cooking and baking - the meticulous planning and recipe reading and ingredient shopping - but I'm terrible at ignoring the food once it is cooked. I have to taste. And then taste more. And then disaster strikes.



I also love cooking shows on TV. Savory might kill me for this, because I recall her hating them (sorry!). I can just sit and watch them for hours in bizarre fascination, and they don't actually compel me to cook and eat myself. I store up stockpiles of ideas of things I might one day cook if I ever return to normal, but there is no sense of urgency. I'm happy enough to just sit and watch. And it is safe. No threat of food.

Today is ABC day 5, 100 calories. I burnt off and extra 400 at the gym, giving me 500 total. I ate 100 at lunch and now I'm feeling pretty strong. And I have a whole afternoon of cooking shows lined up on TV to wile away the time. Today is a good day!

x

18 comments:

  1. I'm the same - I can't let myself cook things because I do just eat them all. And I am obsessed with cooking shows. They lull me into a sort of trance and I just sit there and watch them and they comfort me. That's weird but hey.
    I envy your afternoons line up... and I bet you have some exciting ones in Aus... lol xx

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  2. I know exactly what you mean. I love cooking but one bite and it's over.
    Stay strong Pasco!
    x

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  3. I love cooking shows! I look up pictures of food. I read recipe books. Its like if my mind is full of food then my body doesnt have to be. Its a good trade

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  4. I have such a perverted lust for watching people eat. It is PORN for me! Ha! I will put extra fatty things on peoples' food, and keep giving it to them, and encouraging them to eat it. Oh boy, do I get off on that! Sick, but then again, so am I. Oooo, though, I LOVE getting other people fatfatfat! Stuffing them with oil and grease! Hee hee hee... :)

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  5. Google "food porn." You'll love it! (its not naughty)

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  6. I believe Anthony Bourdain will be the death of me! lol I love his show.

    Good luck on the ABC diet. I also have 100 calories today too.

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  7. You are too cute with cooking shows!! Haha, I tend to get hooked on them every now and again but as far as cooking goes, does microwaving count as cooking? Cuz that's how I do! Sometimes I wish I could get into it all but cooking/baking most of the time spells a MESSY KITCHEN AND DIET DESTRUCTION!!!

    which, of course, leads to my head in a toilet.

    ANYWAYSssss...DAY 5 of ABC!!! Yay!! You're awesome.

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  8. look at you go being all determined and disciplined!

    i cant watch anything about food, not even adverts without finding myself on autopilot hand-mouth-hand-mouth-where'd-that-paunch-come-from?!!!

    right so if you can do it then i can too right? i'm going for easing back in though...

    love you too xxxx

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  9. I LOVE cooking shows!! I could watch them all day long! I don't know if you're in the US (?) but I watch the food network challenges and Iron Chef and all those cooking shows allll the time they are so amazing :)

    They actually make me less hungry

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  10. I know what you mean about cooking shows, I think I watch the Food Network more than anyother channel. I love Food Dective and Good Eats the most but I will watch anything food related.

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  11. baking, then leaving at parties is the best. especially if you are a good cook you may never even get the opportunity to take a bite.

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  12. HAHAHA. Love it. My relationship with cooking shows is a complex and probably disordered one, but my hatred probably has more to do with the host than the subject. If you haven't watched her yet, you do need to youtube some Paula Deen... she's amusing and you'll get insight into my mother world.

    xxxx

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  13. What are cooking shows like over there? Do you get celebrity chefs in the same way that we do?

    Do they get into tabloid scandals?

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  14. I live for cooking shows... And have the same exact behavior as you in regards to them and backing too.
    And WHERE did you find this photo!?
    I adore it!

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  15. "I am one of those typical eating disordered types who seeks out relationships with food that don't necessarily involve eating it. I adore cooking and baking - the meticulous planning and recipe reading and ingredient shopping - but I'm terrible at ignoring the food once it is cooked. I have to taste. And then taste more. And then disaster strikes."-stop imitating me! ;) haha last year I made a tremendous amount os christmas cookies-all different kind.just love the shopping,baking etc....but then it all ened in your named disaster cause I binged on them all the time and got fat :C Lesson I have learned_ No christmas cookies to be baken by me this year .P I am also kinda obsessed with a docu called perfect dinner where they are 5 unknown people. they meet and each day (mo-fr) they eat at the other one's house together and rate the dinner afterwards. on fr the one with the most points get 1000€ LOVE watching them cooking preparing and eating O.O
    And just like Madbird it gives me such a good feeling making other people eat ♥

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  16. Oooh Pasco! You are doing sooo well! I am on the same ABC day as you (started 1st Jan). I have totally adopted your method of whatever I burn off at the gym I can eat. So I'm working out almost everyday!! Faboulous. What a way to start the year :)
    I had a minor set back on the 100 cal day... as I burnt off 700 calories on an empty stomach and when I got home I felt sick as death... so blindly ate loads of bread to keep myself standing :( so I think I ended up going over... but onwards we must go!
    all my love and best wishes
    x x x

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  17. I'm the sameee and you're so right--it takes so much self control to keep from devouring all the fresh hummus or spring rolls you've just made. I like to let myself cook for parties...so I'll make something, present it beautifully, and bring it to the party. Then you can't binge on it even if you wanted to...because you have to save it all for your friends!

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