Life is becoming insanely whirlwindy. Every day I go in to work wrecked and every evening when I knock off I get coerced into justonebeer. And every justonebeer leads into justabout50fuckingthousandbeers leads to no sleep leads to going in to work wrecked yet again.
I'm too busy to think properly about food and have been eating pretty much nothing except absolute tit loads of staff room cream biscuits. Then every night post booze binge I come up with some sort of horrible drunken food binge to throw up before bed. Which invariably cuts another hour out of my already diminished night's sleep.
I have huge gaping memory holes from the whole last week. Went through my phone this morning and there are so many drunken ranty misinterpreted text messages that I swear never existed previously. And last night a slept with a nurse, mostly to take my mind off the boy I'm trying so desperately not to fall in love with. It didn't really work.
I'm so sorry I haven't been commenting. I haven't been reading either. I can't! I'm too busy cementing my reputation as the hospital harlot.
oooooooook deep breath take the weekend for bathing and sleeping and recuperating and nesting and cleaning and maybe planning some good meals for the coming week. you know your pattern so you're halfway to breaking it right? no just one beers for the next few days? is that what you need?
ReplyDeletei hope you find your way back soon, its always a shame to see someone disappear for a few days because thats when you know theyve got a bad spiral going on and i want you to be bursting with sunlight and happiness and motivation!
big big love pasco, you're not a hospital harlot, you're my totally awesome and gorjuice friend who lives much too far away to get all the hugs i want to give her to make her feel better... xxxxxxxx
lol.. as much as that sounds like you had a shit week its kinda funny when you read it though;)
ReplyDeletesleeping with nurses, drunken rampages, too many cream biscuits- hopefully there's no photographic evidence!xx wanto see the real Jayne?? I just posted some photographic evidence myself, hang in there girl, love your blog x
Wow, this really sounds bad.
ReplyDeleteDon´t mind your reputation, though, most hospitals are big party and whatever places, if you look close enough.
It seems as if you should take the velocity out of your life, and sometimes that´s the hardest part. I hope you read Lulu´s comment carefully and tried to use the weekend as some time to re-get your grip and make some plans for the upsoming week. I really hope you can find some time to relax and feel better about yourself.
Try to stay calm, all bad times come to an end.
And try to take care...
OK TIME TO COME BACK NOW.
ReplyDeleteNO MORE SELF PITY TIME.
at least send me an email, say/(type) it out loud, dont turn it inwards and downwards. now now now please please i miss you.xxxx