Friday, January 22, 2010


I'm not sure.

After my consternation last night, this morning I woke up and I'm 54.9kg.

That is my goal weight one.

I haven't been following any particular plan lately. I get up, skip breakfast, go to work, avoid lunch, keep busy all day, ignore the cakes and cookies and morning/afternoon teas littering the staff rooms and nursing stations. It is relatively easy. I have a can of diet coke glued to my hand most of the time. When I get home, I intend to fast through the evening but always end up eating, usually too much, and always throw it up before bed. Because I'm only eating once during the day, it is pretty easy to throw up pretty much the entire day's intake. It doesn't feel like this is a very good thing. But it seems to be working...

I don't know if I want it to. But I do know that if I try to eat normally I will overeat constantly and I will gain weight. Better of two evils? Problem is, if I ever do get my weight down it is not a case of knowing WHEN to stop, but knowing HOW to.


  1. i'm having a hard time commenting on this and your last post. i don't know why. i have so much to say about them but i have pretty much had my head in the toilet all day for the last few days, so i've got that vaguely spinny eerily quiet thing going on that really doesn't allow much room for thought. which is both really nice and welcome but also kind of irritating, especially when i have very nice thoughtful comments for you that i just cannot articulate. GRR. i just wish the ice cream would go AWAY. there is only one way to make that happen. NOOOO! why did i buy a half gallon?? AUGH.

    anyway. when i get out of this minor rut i will have thoughtful and brilliant things to say re: these two posts. i swear. for now, back to barfing. yum.


  2. I guess you aked the right question.
    How to stop?

    You are doing good, weight-wise, but I think you should take some time this weekend to relax, find youself, and maybe just eat a little.

    Take good care, OK?
    And never forget about your question...

  3. please stop purging!! Its so bad, you're too beautiful to do it! I cracked my front tooth because it was so weak

  4. hello-i hope you're well? lots of hugs from me, i hope you feel better soon. xx

  5. be careful, weight wise I'm majorly jealous, but method wise, be careful. (I can't believe I just said that, I meant, as in, don't injure yourself)
    I hope your feeling alright :) x

  6. Fabulous, darling!
    I love your photography, where do you find it?