Friday, September 4, 2009

"she hates everyone"

As I escaped the party those words trailed out the door behind me.

Sure, I hate everyone, but no one so much as I hate myself. My hostility clouds around me where ever I go. The people who see through it think they are special, or that they are somehow entitled to some part of me. It stifles me more than the cloud itself. I don't want to be confronted, I find it frightening. Leave me be. I'm not ready for the world yet.

I ate badly, but not too badly, and tomorrow is a new day.
Just me,
my cats,
and my cloud.


  1. u make your world sound so beautiful and peaceful - i wish everyone would just leve me alone too


  2. i am sad sad sad that you had to overhear those words as you were leaving the party. that is NOT a nice thing to overhear!

    being able to face the world is something i am also not ready for. hence: severe hermiting. cats, books, nests. yummm.

    many many many HUGS from this side of the globe!

    also let me amend last my comment re: pictures on your blog. it is like living inside Tim Burton's brain if Tim Burton was transported back to the victorian era. LOVE it.

  3. You dont hate EVERYONE, is just that nearly everyone is an idiot. Thats what i tell myself. Better to be picky than have an enormous circle of people whose droning and mindlessness you put up with.
    So would we call tonight a success on some level? still feeling positive and new leafy? I hope so.
    And if you are feeling less so, let me know and we can go on msn or something till the urge has passed. I'll try be vigilant tomorrow. xx

  4. I feel I am not ready for the world yet.
    it scares me, so much.
    what if people see me?
    you know?
    I'm sorry you had to hear those words,
    they are just idiots.

  5. People say that about me too.

    The funny thing is that I can't think of a single person I dislike.