Wednesday, September 23, 2009

hearts and love and a snuggle puss

Oh you are all so immensely wonderful!
I've been self-defeatist and blog-avoidant lately. Haphazard eating and throwing up. Never really binging. Never really putting my heart into purging. Not sad. But not really living either. And when you're not really living, you may as well be getting skinny. One day I'll start living and stop caring, but while I can't live I suppose I must at least starve. I'll sleep tonight with a triple dose of laxatives and tomorrow and Friday I'll go hungry. By Friday night I hope to be hungry enough to feel pretty.

Your comments and well wishes mean the world to me. Silent strangers who are my most caring and understanding friends in all the world. Please don't go anywhere! I'll try to be more attentive! Lately things have been so blah. Everything just seems to be getting heavy, impossible to manage, crushing down on me. Claustrophobia. I need to shake it off my back again. You all help so much. I heart you all to bits.

Now my purring communist is telling me it's bedtime. He is quite persistent.

Lights out


  1. Don't give up darling! Keep smiling and living life. Xo. Nice picture too!

  2. thats ok sweetie, i know all too well the vicious circle which is half heartedly bingeing/grazing a nd purging, and not feeling like any of it warrants a post. you'll get back on the horse eventually, i'm struggling with it a bit myself at the moment if i'm honest! xx

  3. first looking at the pic i wanted the tights glanced again and omg i want those legs , to doe for! thanks for the thinspo
    i hate when everything is just so "blah" as you put it no purpose but to mooch about binge purging hope some productive activity comes your way soon x

  4. don't worry about it,
    "And when you're not really living, you may as well be getting skinny"
    I agree. I have been ill for the past few days.
    I realised I should have taken this oppertunity and used it.
    I hope you feel better soon!

  5. Such great writing.
    Love, love, love it.


  6. We all get caught up in life. The point is not to make the weight of living transfer to the scale.

    Love your posts and that girl's impossibly small legs with wicked tights.

  7. i oscillate back and forth all the time between being crushed by the sheer weight and volume of life (and eating) and running around in a manic panic trying to get too many things done (and not eating). you'll find yourself eventually! everything is cyclical and this is too. you are wonderful and i ADORE you and your communist kitties!

    LOVE xxx