Sunday, August 30, 2009

Scent of Sabotage

My anorexic housemate is gone
She has been replaced by housemates who EAT

Right now the scent of bacon and eggs is wafting into my room. Salty and greasy. I wish I could say it disgusted me, but it doesn't. It smells wonderful. I'll just have to stay behind closed doors until it has dissipated.

Now let's not forget the other housemate and our mutual friend who railroaded me into going out for dinner (I know the mutual friend is onto me, and she wouldn't take no for an answer). This was followed by an evening of coating things in chocolate and eating them. And me creeping away to "answer phone calls" and quickly throw up as much as I could in various bouts in my room. I couldn't do it in the bathroom because it would have been too obvious. And I couldn't talk my way out of it. Hooray for girls nights! Gross.

And then there are the FOUR loaves of gourmet bread and the bag of croissants and pastries on the counter. Gifted to me by a friend I encountered working at the bakery in the markets yesterday. I go there to buy bountiful bags of fresh produce and avoid the temptations of the supermarket. So this was a disastrous and unpredictable outcome. I'm trying to make the housemates eat as much as possible.

So yes... there are many challenges ahead. Today I'm doing alright. Trying to keep busy and find life-spiration. Spurred along by diet pills which are mostly just caffeine and are leaving me jittery but not all that hungry. Except for my fingernails, which I'm wolfing down ravenously.

Why is nobody blogging these days?
I'm lonely!
Come back!

Love Pasco


  1. Fingernails are always tasty. & fresh bread is always the worst. :/
    Just, flush it down the toilet..? or throw it out or something.

    & that sucks about your room mates. Merde.
    Just, you have to try & set a boundary maybe about them getting you to eat..

    & ignore that bacon & eggs! Brush your teeth!
    Have a shower! do something to ignore it.

    Hope my comment helped.

    Yasmine. xx

  2. Try to imagine the greasy fatty smell oozing down your gullet - massively gross. That might help!! Damn, housemate replacement not good!!! Maybe it will provide inspiration for you?

  3. Gourmet Bread? ACK! What a nightmare!

    I agree with Yasmine, throw out the bread, have a nice long and hot shower and remind yourself why bacon+eggs=fat+cellulite and why thin=beautiful!

    Be Strong Pasco!
    It's just food, food is just calories, calories are just your body's gasoline. The want is all in your mind, a mind that you are IN CONTROL of. Focus your mind on what you want, not want you don't want/can't have. Focus on something of value.


  4. ah, not so good about the housemates, but think about what they are doing to themselves? do you want to do that to yourself?
    do you?
    hope that helps hehe, stay strong.

  5. i think its time to bust out some fake food intolerances/ethical concerns. Once you've said it then you cant go back and say oh yeah, i cant eat wheat but i just reaaaaaaaaaally felt like a whole baguette. That way you have another control over your incontrollable demons.
    (i'm back properly now je te promesse) xx

  6. ooh just remember that your housemates are growing larger every four hours [literally, considering the digestive process]. and i adored reading your comment. it totally brought me back from the realms of 'give-up land' haha'

    stay strong hun, i know you can do it

    XOXO Sophia Ruins <3

  7. I agree with Lulu, I have a lot of "food intolerances" and works everytime. For instance I "can't" eat pasta because it doesn't "agree" with me. I have eaten pasta in months! Hopefully you can find enough distractions to avoid those foods.

    PS I love your blog, it keeps me going strong!

  8. OMGEE! I have to keep so much tempting food in my house because I have a husband, but its SO HARD To resist temptation!!!! its so much easier when all you have to worry about is yourself!!