Wednesday, August 26, 2009

love thyself

This morning I drove to the beach to go running. I ran a short way but it was tricky because the tide was out and it was very rocky. I stopped and just meandered around collecting shells for an hour or so. The sun was out for the first time in weeks. It was so beautiful. It didn't matter that I wasn't burning vast numbers of calories. It was sunshine and happiness, lightness of being. And the greatest thing was that I was completely distracted from all thoughts of food.

We need to remember to treat ourselves with a little kindness. We are so brutal to our bodies and so cruel to our hearts. Even if we can't love ourselves, we need to treat ourselves to tiny glimpses of happiness when we can.

Now my tiny glimpse of happiness has past, I've already eaten all my allotted daily calories, and I'm desperately trying to ignore the hunger in my belly and in my head. Such a hideous battle. I wish I could just go to bed and not think about it. But it's only 6.30. I just want to eat. But then I'll stay fat and I can't bear it. I'm struggling to love myself at all now.


  1. beaches are beautiful. walking down them is even better. I know what you mean.
    don't feel bad, tomorrow is a new day. love yourself, or at least try.
    I suppose, who am I to talk? I hate myself.
    I hope your okay.

  2. "We need to remember to treat ourselves with a little kindness. We are so brutal to our bodies and so cruel to our hearts."
    - Pasco

    Can I use this quote? Its so beautiful because it summarizes the exact opposite of what I've been doing lately. Its so funny how the perfect conditions can just change everything, you know? Like I was sitting on a bench with the sun shining on me reading a book and everything was just so perfect and I didn't have to worry about calories or weightloss or new school jitters. Everything was beautiful...until this skinny chick and her friend came over and lit up a cigarette. Then it seemed gravity forced me back to the weight of reality ( or rather, the reality of weight). In any event, I think you've hit the nail on the head with this quote.

  3. You are so right, we do need to remember to treat ourselves with kindness - so many in our little community treat everyone around them with kindness, so much more so than ourselves that you are right, we need to do this. Our souls need feeding, even if we don't allow that for our bodies.