Saturday, February 13, 2010

a welcome return to euphoria

It's strange, how it gets easier.

I haven't really eaten any solid food in 4 days. Maybe 300ish calories of juice each day, loads of beer last night. I did grab a handful of crisps while drunk but that's about it. It's funny how after a certain amount of time in a state of deprivation your body just clicks. Accepts it and stops fighting it. I'm not hungry today. That's a lie. I'm hungry, but not desperately, achingly, screamingly hungry anymore. I can take it or leave it. I know I should eat. Something little. Fruit and vegetables, keep my insides functioning and my metabolism ticking. But I know I can't. Once I'm not on a roll anymore I will be binging and purging again for sure. And if I start eating now and resume fasting tomorrow, I will be back to desperately, achingly, screamingly hungry again.

Tough call.

But right now, this very second, I'm feeling deliriously self satisfied and infinitely thinner.


1 comment:

  1. Oh goodness, I LOVE that feeling...the one you're talking about there, "deliriously self satisfied and infinitely thinner..." Very well said, my love, and god...I can't wait to feel it again.
    I think reading this post was just what I needed this morning. I've been bingeing like a friggin' maniac over the past week or so, it's shameful. Today, I thought, would be an excellent day to start a liquid fast (isn't every day?) but then I remembered early V-Day dinner with the bf tonight... Hmm. I suppose there's nothing wrong with sticking with tea until then, huh?
    You inspire me more than I can say...Thank you! :)
    I can't wait for my body to click over into that mode again...subsisting on so little and loving it. A reward in and of itself.
    Hope you're well today! Stay lovely, dear! <3