Thursday, February 11, 2010

Coming back down

Not feeling as great about this as I was last night. I'm so hungry and I can't find the love in it. And this evening a made a horrible hair dressing mistake and now I want to eat my misery.



  1. Stay strong, it'll come.
    Even the most powerful drugs can take a while to kick in.

  2. it's ok. it's ok!

    i have been pseudo-fasting these past few days. which started as a fast and quickly devolved into candy (to keep me awake, no joke) and cheerios. that's it. i had a binge and threw up once on tuesday, but other than that, not since saturday. i have been hungry as hell. sometimes there are moments of delicious emptiness and i LOVE it, but most of the time it fucking sucks. BUT the thing that keeps me going is that it is vastly preferrable to throwing up. to the panic you get when your heart starts yammering about afterwards. to the sleepiness and disorientation that follows throwing up that's not very good for getting things done. to spending grand chunks of my day searching out food, buying food embarrassingly, eating it, throwing up, recovering, doing it again. i have too much to do to spend my time on that.

    i don't know if that helps. but know that i am here as ever and i am not throwing up. you can do it. you don't have to try to find the joy in starving; you can just find the joy in not throwing up. that's all you need.

    i love you, dear soul mate, you'll be ok :D

  3. Sending love & support your way, darling.

  4. Don't worry, things will get better, your just feeling a little down,
    ♥ my love aswell.

  5. Oh pish posh.
    Baby stuff, this
    Is all baby
    Stuff. When you
    Signed your
    Soul over to me,
    You knew there'd be crucible days.
    I invested in you and you will not let me down.
    Get over it.

    (Don't take this the wrong way, it's another way of saying press on).