Saturday, August 21, 2010



I can't do this
I don't know what is wrong with me
I am not an inspiration. Anybody who thinks that I am, go back and read my blog from the beginning, 18 months ago, and watch me ruin my life

Sometimes I feel like the only way out of this is to kill myself
and yet I don't want to die

I know I need help
I know I know I know

My insides are on the outsides and everything hurts


  1. It's a good thing we are two people and not one.

    I want to die, but I don't want to kill myself.

    Get help Pasco.

  2. I agree. I know you probably feel like you can deal with it on your own, but I wish I had someone to tell me to go get help. I'm slowly getting better, but I think you're still stuck in the hole that it is.

  3. Get help pasco. Don't let this ruin you!

  4. Please don't kill yourself! Don't even think it. You would have so many people here and in your life that would miss you. If the thoughts are that strong, please go and find help! It would be very hard, but I know you would feel so much better at least understanding yourself a little more.

    A few years ago, when I was purging everyday, I went to see a counselor and I thought she was shit and never went back, BUT I went home and reformed my habits. She somehow the whole experience of reaching out helped me out of the hole.

    I hope you feel better, dear. Push those nasty thoughts out of your head.

  5. it will be okay.
    ur heart always holds on. u can come back to it and rebuild ur life. from now on.
    belive and act!

  6. *Hug* You're not allowed to kill yourself. Love you

  7. I know exactly how you feel.
    Sending you love and support. ♥

  8. I want to say

    Get help dearest xoxo

    But it just sounds so cavalier, brutal, like talking to someone and pills will make all the pain go away. Perhaps then you will want to live instead of just existing.

  9. Life is a constant withering of possibilities.
    The system is corrupt.
    You are beautiful and I will never doubt you for a second in your recovery.
    Humans are capable of the most amazing things, you can see this through to the end and regardless of whether you believe me or not, you will reach the end of this battle and see just how many people are really there for you.

    Best of luck.

  10. check out my blog it's not ana yet, but I'm planing on getting back to it as I go back to college on september... :):):)

  11. why can't I come with anything better than 'that blows'

    hope things look up soon, & please keep working towards finding balance at least there is always hope for something different and with any luck it's something better