Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Just a Perfect Day

That's all

All it takes is one. If I can force every ounce of strength from my tired body into making just one perfect day then it will be the start of something again.

Today was awful. It was every ridiculous synapse of a bulimic brain firing. Every tiny cave in led to an all-or-nothing and inevitably all.

I can't have that be who I am.
So tomorrow will be the start of something.
I will be someone else. Someone good.


  1. that isn't who you are. and it never will be.

  2. You are someone good. =) You just need to let that side come out in your eating.

  3. You're so much more than bulimia's puppet.

    I hope tomorrow (today) goes well for you!


  4. btw I think hippo meant that you arn't who you were today. That you're really something good.
    It's so obvious that you are.

    You know what I think sometimes? ED= hating myself and eating= love. I used to think that was laughable bullshit; that I'd hate myself no matter what. That I'd hate myself even more if I started eating right. But isn't it inevitably true? When you take care of yourself; when you eat and don't watch it flush down the toilet; when you get in your calcium and protein and vitemans and carbs for energy and good fats and you eat when you're hungry and even though you're miserable and you feel like you never want to eat again and you just want to jump off a cliff when you see yourself in the mirror, you continue to fight on in the attempt to somewhat nurture your own body. That has to be love; maybe only a little of it at first, but it has to mean love. How could it not?

    Beauty is coming pasco. Fight on, look harder; it will come.. once you love yourself more and more each day. And I know you will.
    Because you are just so lovable :)

    vanilla finnegan

  5. That's definitely not who you are. Underneath all that eating disorder, you're still a person. Remember that <3