Last night my skirt was short and shiny, my heels were high, my waist was thin and I felt awesome. Hungry and awesome and as I looked across the sea of bodies and faces I surged with power. I didn't eat and therefore I was better than them. I was electric.
Today was hot and delicious, but I was sent haywire by a chocolate doughnut I insisted on resisting. The fury of denying something I craved so intensely burned through me all day and I became irate and reckless. I ended up imbibing every form of compensation available to me - cheese, nuts, dried fruit, chocolate - then threw up this evening following dinner with my family.
The storm after the power surge. But where is the calm?
Ha denial of the gluttonous foods.... always so empowering to remember how much you're not letting sink into your body.....
ReplyDeleteThere is no calm.
ReplyDeleteThis storm gains and wanes in intensity but only ends when you step out of it into the sunshine.
At least, that is how I feel about it today. :/
xox
To me, this sounds a bit like manifest destiny chic, but replacing gluttony with famine.
ReplyDeleteNonetheless, without sounding sadistic, I quite like this post. It's dramatic without ever being a fawning platitude.
Stay cool.
http://trustyourtechnolust.blogspot.com
your day of power sounds incredibly awesomely envyingly amazing. those are the days we live for, i think. today i had not a day like that, but a moment like that, and so i went to the grocery store and had a good wander and really looked at and appreciated all the foods i was not eating. i felt like a god.
ReplyDeleteand then i found the peppermint bark chocolate bar which has little chunks of candy cane in white chocolate on top of milk chocolate. crumble crumble.
but for that one shining moment i was god-like. it's fucking addicting, isn't it?
i love you i love you we are surging about together in these strange and hazy waters. we will find that power again, i am sure.
x xx
Great post. Your night of triumph sounds amazing. If only our greatest moments were sustainable.
ReplyDeleteI also have to compliment the picture. You always find the most gorgeous pictures to post.
-anylanet
<3
ReplyDeleteCheese, nuts, dried fruits, chocolate. That is my EXACT binge. Whoosh channelling.
And its so freezing in NSW. Hate hate hate.
You enigma you.