I haven't had a good day in ages.
I keep starting off OK then as the day goes on it just gets worse and worse, building up steam, and I'm without fail puking in the shower every night before bed. I haven't had an all out binge in a while. Just bits and pieces creeping their way in until it's all just a wee bit WAY bit too much.
Every morning I wake up and think righto! Good day today. Never happens. Right now it's 4.14pm and I've already had 500 calories today and all I'm thinking is food food FOOD! Aaaah crap. I wonder if I should just go buy myself a big fucking bit of cake and a litre of icecream and get the fucker over with.
But then I know I just need ONE decent fucking day to lift myself out of this.
God fucking dammit.
Don't worry pasco! We all have our shitty days... I had a bad one myself by the end. I would be proud of 500 calories but that's just me and at least you're not binging. Seriously don't buy yourself a litre of ice cream and eat it because you'll end up hating yourself more afterward and will just want to do the same thing tomorrow. Remind yourself that binging never gets you anywhere. Stay strong! You can do this!
ReplyDeleteoh don't worry! I know how you must feel. I've had 3 really bad days of horrific eating due to exam stress. I ate a whole load of crap today and I didn't even purge till it was too late. We can do this Pasco, tomorrow is a new day. The next time you think about food think about how much happier you will be the next morning if you just don't do it. After weighing myself a while ago and feeling quite disappointed in myself, I'm determined to make tomorrow a good day - it's happening now or never. Liquid and vegetable fast from tomorrow and I'm losing these miserable last 10 pounds once and for all!
ReplyDeleteJust keep swimming. Just keep swimming. You'll get through this and have your day and the momentum will lead to even better ones.
ReplyDeleteBe strong!
XO