OK, came unstuck a bit yesterday. Out of the blue lunch with the ex, after I'd already used up most of the days cals for breakfast. Rats! Lunch flicked my binge trigger and I was heading for panic mode but I managed to reign it in all afternoon. Stuffed myself stupid with frozen peas and diet ginger ale and tried not to think about chocolate. And you know what? I reckon I did pretty well under the circumstances. The day's tally came out to around 750 cals.
So it's basically my first FAIL day. But in the spirit of optimism and self-encouragement I'm going to call it a "metabolism building" day, in which I was proud of my battle against the binge. Making the best of a bad situation. Tick.
Today is 500 cal. Oh boy!
In other news, as I approach my goal I'm getting increasingly panicky about maintenance. It's as though I just KNOW I will get fat again. It's inevitable. I CAN'T DO moderation. Never could. It's why I got fat to begin with. I want to teach myself how. Eat well, eat beautifully, stay thin. But I'm not feeling it. I don't believe it. I will get complacent and balloon out. I don't want to be trapped in this crazy starvation life forever... but if I stop I'm fucked.
Peace out
Pasco
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You are doing so awesome, way better than me stay strong pasco! And eating in moderation is impossible!
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