Monday, July 20, 2009

Him and Me




I love him
And a tiny glimpse of my not-tiny-enough body

You are all so wonderfully kind. Almost makes me wish I hadn't had such a miserable day of huge eating and horrible vomiting. I'm sorry Lu, I feel cruel, I feel like a cheat. I don't deserve success. A friend today was telling me I'm lucky. She always tells me I'm lucky, that I have a charmed life and nothing can go wrong for me. I don't feel lucky. It's not lucky to live such a tortuous torturous tormented life. She doesn't care to listen to my pain, so she doesn't know it. We make our own luck. I'm getting thin because I starve myself and silently puke any food that passes my lips and because I hate myself. Lucky me.

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12 comments:

  1. Geist BitesJuly 20, 2009 at 1:01 AM

    Empty reasoning from an internet affiliation. I'd take no notice.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Geist BitesJuly 20, 2009 at 1:21 AM

    Use real words.

    ReplyDelete
  3. PrettyWreckJuly 20, 2009 at 1:41 AM

    You have such beautiful wrists. And such a beautiful collarbone.

    ♥ Please do not feel like a fraud or a cheat. We make our own worlds, yes. Luck has nothing to do with it. I dislike the word luck because it eliminates all the hard work we've suffered through and make it sound so easy. Like we didn't even have to try.

    Our sacrifice, our pain, brushed aside.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lina (of Flushed)July 20, 2009 at 1:48 AM

    ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

    ReplyDelete
  5. SeeJuly 20, 2009 at 4:43 AM

    luck. there is no such thing.
    you and your cat, are beautiful :)
    x

    ReplyDelete
  6. sadhanaJuly 20, 2009 at 6:16 AM

    You are beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Aspartame FreakJuly 20, 2009 at 10:06 AM

    You starve yourself, and puke...
    But you've got pretty collarbones.
    Beauty has a price.

    ReplyDelete
  8. RhiannaJuly 20, 2009 at 12:08 PM

    You are beautiful.
    You have gorgeous lips, wrists and collarbones...its a shame the pain we have to go through to achieve our mind set of perfection.

    Stay strong hun, theres a better day around the corner.

    Xx.

    ReplyDelete
  9. LostJuly 20, 2009 at 3:02 PM

    gorgeous
    x

    ReplyDelete
  10. monicaJuly 20, 2009 at 4:01 PM

    sweetie, don't lose more weight! you're soooo thin and beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousJuly 21, 2009 at 12:22 AM

    is that the cat that talks to you?! :)
    he is amazing. <3

    you look pretty :)
    happy thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  12. MeggyJuly 21, 2009 at 2:28 AM

    ** i second what yasmine just said a few comments above me!!! **

    when you get too thin, people WILL speak up. they arent blind. they can see you pass on the food and turn to skin and bones. thats what happened to me. i was 96 lbs, and got so much shit from everyone. i had to see counselours who questioned everything. its horrible. and i ruined my life because i was forced to gain a lot of weight.

    ITS NOT WORTH IT!! DO NOT GET CAUGHT!!

    ReplyDelete

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